Names are the first thing anyone knows about you. Whether it’s the first time your teacher is reading the attendance list or a company’s hiring manager going over a stack of applications.
While we’d love to say there are no bad ideas when it comes to baby naming, that’s unfortunately not the case. There are a few things every parent should consider when naming a baby. Here are some dos and don’ts.
Author’s Note: Naming trends and conventions vary by culture and not all of these “rules” are hard and fast. The bottom line is to consider how the name you give your child will affect their everyday life. Some cultures avoid legacy or honor names, and some ethnicities have differently spelled variations of names that might be more familiar. What matters most is that the name is flexible enough to fit whoever your child might grow to be.
Do: Think About Initials
People say it’s good luck if your child’s initials spell a word—for example, Jennifer Ann Reed (JAR). However, parents should always consider what word that might be.
Don’t: Pop Culture Icons
Even if you and your partner love the same movie series, book or singer, it’s important to remember that while this is your baby, it’s not your name. Naming a baby after a pop culture icon can be a problem for a few different reasons: your child may not grow up to like that piece of media, public perceptions of that character may change and other kids and parents will inevitably ask your child if they’re named for the character—which might feel cumbersome.
Do: Honor Names
Naming your child to honor a mentor or other influential person in your life, like a grandparent, can be a meaningful gesture. One way to do this without filling the family with members who all have the same name is using another form of the honoree’s name—for example, Carol might be Carole, Caroline, Charlie or others.
You can also use the honoree’s middle name, nickname or another name that shares the same meaning.
However, we have one word of caution when it comes to honor names. You should avoid using honor names connected to a tragic loss. While it may seem like a nice gesture, it can saddle a child with baggage, a legacy or a bad memory association for older members of the family. Honor names are a constant reminder of the person they honor, and if that reminder is painful, it can be hard on the child and those around them.
Don’t: Get Too Creative
While it can be tempting to give your child a name spelling that stands out or to put a twist on a more traditional spelling, parents should first consider how this will affect their child. If your child’s name has an unusual spelling for no reason other than to make it different, your child may spend the rest of their life correcting people on how it’s spelled. Another less important—but still frustrating—drawback is that they’ll never find their name on any gift shop keychains.
An alternative way to differentiate your child’s name is to choose a name that’s uncommon or older. Parents can visit ssa.gov to browse data from the Social Security Administration and find out exactly how popular their potential names were
last year.
Do: Look Up Potential Names
Before you fall head over heels for a name, make sure to do some research. Conduct an internet search of your child’s potential first and last name together to make sure you aren’t saddling them with an unfortunate namesake. Who comes up when you search the name? Why is that person or people among the first results? These are things you need to keep in mind.
Don’t: Nicknames as Names
If you want to call your child by a nickname, give them the formal or full version of the name on paper. Your child can always go by a nickname, but they can’t go by a full name that doesn’t exist. Teddy and Theo are both suitable, but on paper you can give your child more options by sticking to Theodore. The same applies to names like Em for Emily or Maddie for Madison.
Do: Try It On
Once you’ve narrowed your choice down to a few names you might like, try them out. See how the name feels. Paint Luis’ nursery or shop for Ava’s clothes. Practice the name with your partner and see if it feels right to you. Imagine interviewing a job candidate and reading the name. Imagine the person with that name accepting an award, or try writing the name on a coffee cup.
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