Anna Hathaway has had a tumultuous journey through motherhood. Now 27, she became a teen mom at age 16. She works as a substance abuse counselor, but recently decided to become a stay-at-home mom, which changed her whole mindset about motherhood.
Recently, Hathaway also became a commissioner on the Frederick County Women’s Commission, as well as an admin for the group Social Frederick Moms. She says that this work has helped her understand the need for community among mothers.
She lives in Frederick with her daughter, Serenity (11) and her son, Cassiel (2).
What was it like being a teen mom? How did the people around you support you, and how did you support yourself?
My high school was actually pretty supportive. They had the health department come in, and they did a support group. And they were just really good about getting us through classes.
Me and [my daughter’s] father kind of only lasted until she was, like, 9 months old. And that’s kind of when I started really supporting myself on my own. I worked about three jobs. I applied to graduate early from high school because I had a lot of extra credits… and then I started college right away.
I worked two medical jobs that were as needed. I worked at my mom’s company, and then I babysat on the side going to college. And I eventually did, like, four years in the medical field, and I wasn’t happy with it. So, I changed to psychology and I got my substance abuse counselor certification.
Tell me about your work as a substance abuse counselor.
I had always been around addiction because my family actually moved out from Baltimore City to get away from addiction. Some of my earliest memories are going to visit family members in jail, picking up family members’ kids from [Child Protective Services] or moving them in and out of sober houses. So, I knew that I had the skillset of being a family member of addicts and thought I had all I needed to go into that career. But it’s not. You need a lot of boundaries. You need a stern voice. The best way to help them is to have those boundaries and the confidence that ‘I can help you, but only as much as you want me to.’
At a couple of different inpatient facilities… I remember getting a lot more female patients… [who] were human trafficked, or that were really abused. It kind of really opened my eyes… It made me become even more protective of a mom.
What motivated your decision to become a stay-at-home mom?
It was daycare costs. When I first got married, before- and after-care cost $100-$230. When I got pregnant again, daycare costs for a newborn were $500 a week. And you had to provide everything, like snacks, formula, and they weren’t very supportive of breastfeeding. They didn’t have a freezer and proper ways to defrost breast milk or anything like that.
Then, baby formula costs went up to $40, and I couldn’t find it because of the shortage and it just didn’t make sense at that time. I was already paying for gas, food and health insurance, and daycare would have taken all of my salary. To me, it was smarter to just stay home and live off of [my husband’s] income and be able to spend time with my kids. My son was a newborn, and my daughter is going through puberty. It’s nice to spend more time with them.
How do you manage your work-life balance as a stay-at-home mom?
I do a lot of research studies. I just participated in one on the phone, where it’s like, every couple hours you fill out a survey of what’s going on. Then, I became responsible for sending out those surveys to others. I took my experience from doing online classes during college years and just built it into my schedule. But I always made sure to schedule my son’s playgroups and my daughter’s stuff first, and I schedule my work in between so my kids are still the priority.
Family Favorites
Meal: Spaghetti night
Dessert: Ice cream
Local Spot: Cunningham Falls State Park
Vacation Spot: My daughter likes the beach, but I like going to West Virginia.
Group Activity: Going to the park
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