Fatherhood often comes with a heavy expectation for dads to be strong no matter what, but dads need support, too—especially when circumstances fall outside the norm.
The Special Fathers Network (SFN), founded by David Hirsch, supports fathers raising children with disabilities. The program is part of the 21st Century Dads Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to combatting father absence.
Hirsch, who was raised by a single mother, is an advocate for father involvement. The Chicago-born father of five founded the Illinois Fatherhood Initiative, which was the country’s first statewide nonprofit fatherhood organization, as well as the 21st Century
Dads Foundation.
“Kids need so much more than just the financial support that a father provides,” Hirsch says. “They need [a father] to…be present physically, to be present emotionally and be present spiritually.”
On his mission to encourage fathers, Hirsch authored six books, including “21st Century Dads: A Father’s Journey to Break the Cycle of Father Absence” and five compilations from the SFN “Dad to Dad” podcast.
The podcast has more than 300 episodes so far, each one with a different father talking about personal experiences and challenges covering topics from employment to autism and rare conditions.
Episode 163 features Jim Stovall, founder of the Narrative TV Network and an author and speaker. Stovall is best known for his book “The Ultimate Gift,” which was made into a feature film.
In the episode, Stovall, who is blind, talks about his upbringing, about learning he was going to lose his sight, about his friendship with Ray Charles and his journey to advocacy.
“This is somebody that I’ve admired from a distance for decades and decades, somebody who is just the most amazing role model for so many different people in situations,” Hirsch says.
Other episodes of the podcast tackle hard topics like the loss of a child.
“It’s a parent’s worst nightmare, but you know, it’s reality and, you know, that’s not the club you want to be a part of, but if you find yourself in that situation, there is some comfort in knowing that you’re not alone,” Hirsch says.
SFN provides fathers with inspiration and information. Hirsch notes that while membership is encouraged, some dads just need inspiration or insight on a weekly basis from listening to a podcast or a YouTube video. Some dads might attend one of the weekly meetings for SFN’s MasterMind groups, and some dads just want to tune in to the conferences.
But the original vision of SFN, and the network’s primary function, is to connect dads to other dads on a more personal level, in a mentor-mentee style program. Today, SFN has more than 700 mentor fathers who provide friendship, advice and community for fathers across 12 countries.
Read More: The life of a stay-at-home dad
SFN in Frederick
One local expert, Eric Jorgensen, of Frederick, appeared on the “Dad to Dad” podcast’s 269th episode to offer disability planning advice.
The father of two is a retired navy veteran, widower and cancer survivor. Jorgensen and his wife, Christine, were married for 12 years before she died following a battle with hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis—an immune deficiency disorder.
According to Jorgensen, disability planning is vital when you have a child, or you yourself have a disability that is affecting your ability to work full time or your overall ability to live independently.
As a parent to a child with disabilities, and also a financial planner, Jorgensen found himself doing a lot of research on the financial aspect himself.
“Parents that are caring for children the rest of their lives need to do a different type of planning. It’s not just planning for their retirement and their future—they really need to start thinking about what’s going to happen when I’m gone,” Jorgensen explains.
Though Jorgensen’s two children are now adults, his son William, now 24, has autism, is nonverbal and has learning and intellectual disabilities. William Jorgensen also had pectus excavatum, a condition that causes a depression of the sternum, giving the chest an indentation in the center. In his case, a titanium rod had to be inserted into his chest to push his sternum out and relieve the pressure on his heart and lungs.
Currently, the family is working toward getting William Jorgensen his own apartment where he can live more independently with support staff.
While his father is not a member of the Special Fathers Network because of time constraints, he says that peer support, like that offered by SFN, can help overwhelmed parents become aware of the resources available in their area and the kinds of services their child might need.
